Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
