His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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