Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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