Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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