i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
