what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
