What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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