She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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