Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
