would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
