so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
