i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
