the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
this is an emotional support booty call
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
