can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
