i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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