How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I stole a fireplace last night.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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