I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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