dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Randomize
