On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
