if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
