@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
