Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
