Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
