Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
