what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
