he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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