While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
