There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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