Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
