is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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