hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
