She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
tell me about the eggs
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
