Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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