I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
