Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
