Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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