this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Im part way to drunk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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