Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
