Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sobbing to NWA
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
