im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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