I wish my penis had an off switch
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
