U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
