Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
