Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
