arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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