Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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