At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
