Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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