I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
