Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
