Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's Friday. Sex?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
